How to Get More Clients From Networking and Referrals

Here we go. Episode three. Out of the four different primary strategies of lead generation, my favorite hands down is networking and referral. In this episode, I want to try to expand your thinking on the boundaries of what’s possible with networking, because most people, in my experience, don’t even begin to crack the nut of all the potential available to them.

Welcome to the podcast, everyone. My name is Eric. I am a digital nomad entrepreneur, traveling full time with my wife and our four kids, and we are having a great time. I’m going to give an update at the end of the main part of the content, the thing that got you to tune in today. At the end of all of that, I give a quick travel update for those of you that like that part of our lifestyle.

And I’ll be honest, I’m trying to rush to get this recording done right now. I’m keeping an eye on the clock. Our landlord here in our house in Costa Rica is on their way here to pick up our internet router, because we fly out in two days for Argentina. We fly out on Sunday for Argentina. The router’s got to go back today so she doesn’t get charged for an additional month of wi-fi. So the last couple of days we’ve downloaded a bunch of content to all of our kids’ devices to get them through the flights coming up and stuff like that. So we’re all ready to go. But I want to get this recorded before she gets here. I record my podcast in Adobe Podcast. I record live into Adobe Podcast, so I need the internet. So if this feels a little rushed to you, that’s why.

So what do I want to unpack with you? I’ve got three things today that I want to unpack with you as it relates to networking and referral. And then the third one, I’ve got three tips in that. So I guess you could say I have six. Three main points, three sub points, six points all together.

Now when it comes to networking and referral, I really built my business on networking and referrals when I was in our passport country in the United States, when we lived in one place. I was regularly out having one on one coffee meetings. I’d go to networking events, and while I was at the networking event, I would do everything I could to fill my calendar with one on one coffee meetings, and I absolutely enjoyed doing it and got a lot of great benefit out of that. I do the same kind of thing now as a digital nomad, but I can’t go to a local networking event and then have local coffees. I do the same kind of thing leveraging being a guest on other people’s podcasts.

Now, how I learned to do that is I went through a coaching program with a guy named Dustin, and I’m going to have him on as a guest on this podcast here in a few episodes. We will talk more specifically for the full time traveler how to do networking using podcast guesting. That’ll be in a few episodes. But for this episode, I have a lot of listeners that aren’t travelers. The majority of my audience actually isn’t travelers. They are traveler wannabes. One day they want to be a traveler. Some of them plan to do no traveling. They just like the idea of having a business that gives you the freedom to do it if you wanted to.

And so if you are someone that is in one place, then I really want you to take some notes. I really want you to pay attention and take this in and think about it and leverage it for your business growth. If you are a traveler, I still want you to follow along and wrestle with the principle behind the practice. And you’ll have to do like I did and wrestle with how do I do this as a digital nomad? How do I do this as somebody that’s moving country to country and not getting customers and clients in the country I’m in, but constantly getting customers or clients back in my passport country for the most part.

So with that, let’s go ahead and start with tip number one.

Tip number one is you have to expand your goal. I was recently talking to one of my one on one coaching clients and trying to help him with his networking. And he made a comment to me. He’s in a BNI chapter and he says, I have gone to 21 one on ones and it’s just not been good. Nothing has happened out of any of them. I go to the one on one, I sit down, and they all tell me the same thing. They don’t need a website. Maybe one day they’ll want a website, maybe one day down the road they’ll need a website. But that’s just not their thing.

And the thing is, that’s just one example of something I hear over and over and over again. And that is, people go to a networking event, they’re able to turn that networking into several one on one meetings, and then they go to those one on one meetings, they go to those coffee meetings, with the intention to get that person to buy the thing that they sell or do. And that is a huge mistake. Huge mistake. You’re not going there to sell something. You’re not going there to sell something. You are going there to build a relationship.

Now, many times that quickly turns into a sale, but it’s not always. In fact, what I have found is the ones that turn into a sale always have the smallest return on the meeting than the ones that open the doors for other opportunities down the road.

And right now, I know some of you go, well, see, this is why I don’t like this. It’s not scalable. It doesn’t work real fast. I need things happening right now. I’m just going to put out Facebook ads. Oh, okay. Well, I’ll tell you what. Go ahead and create a Facebook ad now and go launch it and see if you’re getting new business tomorrow. All right. You’re not going to. You are going to, because your ads are going to suck. Our ads always suck when we start. Now, you spend money, you get iterations of the ads, you make them better. It takes time for the algorithm to find your audience, and way down the road you are going to start getting customers. But you’re going to have to spend a lot of money getting the ads to work right. And then once you’re there, things do start to hum along. Well, okay, that’s fine. If you want to do that and you think you can do that, great. I have no problem with that. It’s just not my cup of tea, because that’s just not how I’m wired.

I would rather invest the time in building relationships and getting to know people. Even though I’m an introvert, it’s still worth it to me, because the best things always happen from that. I’m just not looking for customers or clients. I’m looking to build a community of customers that are with us for a long, long time. I don’t want a high churn. I don’t want a high turnover of customers. I’m not looking at people walking around and seeing nothing but walking dollar signs. We genuinely want to help our customers. We genuinely want to help them grow their businesses. And so we like to start our relationship with our customers through networking and referrals. And that’s just why I’m passionate about it, for me, because we do get to the results. It doesn’t take as long as most people think, and good things happen.

Now, if you do go to 20 meetings in a row and nothing happens, you’re doing something wrong. In fact, if you do the same thing 20 times and never get the result you’re hoping for, stop. Learn. Start iterating after three. Give something a good three tries. And if you’re not getting the results you want, it’s time to step back and go, I don’t think I’m doing something right. I think I need to make some adjustments here.

So if you decide to do this as a way to grow your business, it’s a great way, that’s an effective way to grow your business. You can’t start going to networking events and set up one on one meetings and then go there trying to sell something. You have to expand your goal. You have to expand your mindset. You have to go there ready to add value to someone and to begin a relationship. Now there are three things you want to do when you’re at this one on one, and I’m going to get to that at point number three. But I want to share one more thing before I get into that.

So point number one, you’ve got to expand your goal. You’re not going to a one on one coffee meeting or a one on one Zoom meeting with the intention to sell your thing. That’s not what you’re going there to do. That’s going to be the happy byproduct. Number one, expand your goal, expand your thinking.

Number two, you’ve got to be ruthless. Ruthless with this. You absolutely have to be ruthless with this. What I mean by that is you have to be dogged. You have to be persistent. You can’t give up. There’s no money hiding behind your desk. Get out there and make it happen. As Dave Ramsey said, you’ve got to leave the cave, kill something, drag it home. That’s how you win at business. It’s how this game is won. And so you’ve got to get out there and make something happen.

I’m telling you right now, you go to a local business association meeting, a Chamber of Commerce meeting, a main street organization meeting. You go to a conference. You go to any of these things. You go where your ideal customer is gathering. That’s what you want to find out. Where are my ideal customers already meeting? Maybe you’re trying to get people that work in co-working spaces. So you need to be going to co-working spaces. Where is your ideal customer gathering? Wherever they’re gathering, you go.

For me, my ideal customers are business owners. So I’m going to the business association meetings, and I’m going there, and I will have my following week, I’ll have every morning cleared out of my schedule, ready for a coffee meeting, and I am going to do everything I can to leave that networking event with five coffee meetings scheduled. And I love it, because a lot of business owners are busy, a lot of them are early risers. It’s easy to get people to meet you for a cup of coffee at 7:30, 7:00. Many, many, many times, 7:00, 7:30 I’m at a coffee shop, or when I was in the US, was at a coffee shop, having one on ones with somebody that I had met at a networking event the week before.

And when I’m there with them, I am going to do number three. And that is, I’m going to try to accomplish these three things.

There are three things I want when I sit down and have a one on one with someone. If I sit down and have a one on one meeting with somebody that is a potential client, there are three things I want, and here’s what they are.

First, I want a challenge that they’re facing that I can help them solve later. A challenge to be solved later. So oftentimes, especially when I was starting out, or even now, when I talk to anybody who’s been in business for any amount of time, I’m constantly trying to learn. And so I’m going to start out sitting down with someone, having a cup of coffee, and I’m just kind of curious. How did you get started? Did you always want to be an attorney? Did you always want to own a bakery shop? Now, how many of us are doing the thing we always wanted to do? And so suddenly you start getting your answer. I get some stories. Well, no, actually, I thought I was going to do this, and then this happened. Or, no, actually, I was in the Navy, and when I got out. You’re going to start suddenly getting backstories. And this is gold, because now you’re connecting to them not as just a business owner, but as a human with a story, with a past, and you’re going to find connection points. And oh, wow, that’s so cool. I know so and so that has something similar. You’re just going to have a conversation.

Here’s the thing. Don’t go there and be a salesperson. Be human. How is this something you always wanted to do? Do you do this on your own? Who do you do this with? How long have you done it? What brought you, why are you doing this thing here? You’re just getting their backstory, and they’re going to ask you about yours, and share it. Don’t spend most of the time on it. Don’t be too big of a talker on it, because you’re wanting to get to know them, but you also want to be known by them. So share your story. If you’re a talker, practice making it a short story. Just make it a short story, not a novel. But in this, you’re just starting to build a relationship with them.

And then you’re going to say, hey, listen, I’m just kind of curious, I’m constantly trying to learn as a business owner and be prepared to overcome challenges I might face one day, constantly trying to learn how to be a problem solver. I’m curious, what’s one of the biggest challenges you’ve ever had to overcome with your business? And I just listen, and I thank them. I’m like, thank you for sharing that. That’s really good to know. I really appreciate that. What’s a challenge you’re facing right now specifically as it relates to marketing your business? Now, I’m going to say that because I’m a marketer, and that’s what I’m looking for. I’m looking for a marketing problem they’re having.

And when they share it, I’m now going to say, okay, wow, yeah, I can see that. Is there something you’ve tried already with that? Why do you think fixing that would solve something? I’m just asking questions. I just want to know. I’m playing dumb, and even if I know immediately how for them to fix it, I’m going to hold off, because I don’t want to be the know it all sitting at the table. I’m going to play brain dead. That sounds like a real problem. And I’m just going to let them share it with me and ask them some follow up questions. Why is that? Why do you think solving that would make a difference? What’s something you’ve already tried to do to solve it? Do you have any ideas of something you’re going to try? And I’m just going to make a mental note of that.

And then I’m going to thank them for their time. I’m going to start wrapping up, and I’ll say, hey, listen, I’ve got two real quick questions for you. First off, I’m just curious, is there somebody that you know that you think I should know? You know, specifically, I help people with their marketing and their websites. Have you had anybody mention recently that they’re looking for a new website? Or even if you’re not comfortable with that, is there just somebody that you’re like, you should know so and so, they’re a great business owner, they have a lot of experience, they know people, they’re a professor of this. Who do you know that I should know? That’s the question I want to get answered. Now, I ask in different ways, but I’m always asking, who do you know that I should know?

And then I’m just going to be ruthless. I’m going to go, would you mind sending a text message to make an introduction? Hey, can you let them know that I should reach out? Can you help me with that introduction? Because what I’m wanting to do is I want to turn this one coffee into my next coffee meeting. Into my next coffee meeting, into my next coffee meeting. Because if I can go to a networking event week one of a month, and I get five coffees the next week, and if I can get four of those people to introduce me to somebody, I’ve got four meetings week three. I’ve got three meetings week two. Wait. I’m going back to the networking event week one of the following month, and I will have five meetings right there. What is that? Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. Eleven one on ones in one month.

Let me ask you this, my friend. How many initial discussions did you have with potential customers last month? Did you have 11? Probably not. This is why I love networking and referrals and expanding my network. And when you live in a small town or area and do this, after a couple months, you’re going to be known by people. You’re going to know people. You’re going to be out and about and people will say hi to you, and you’re going to say hi to them, and you’re going to be in somebody’s restaurant that you had coffee with three weeks ago, and they’re going to see you, wave, and you introduce them to your wife and kids. And this starts to build you as a known quantity.

Because here’s what you’re going to do the following day. Are you ready for this? You’ve had the one on one. You’ve built a relationship. You’ve got their backstory. You knocked their guard down by getting their backstory, and now they’re going to be more likely to share with you their challenge. You’re going to send an email the next day. Now, I would get home and I would write the email and then schedule it to go the next day. That was my system. And I’m going to send an email, say, hey, listen, I really enjoyed our time together yesterday. Thank you so much. I’m looking forward to meeting with whoever they introduce me to. And I’ll let you know how that meeting goes. And I would do that. After I met with somebody, I’d come back. Hey, so listen, so and so, you introduced me a couple of weeks ago to this guy, and we got coffee this morning, and just again, wanted to say thanks for that. You were right. I got a lot out of it.

Why am I doing that? Because I’m just building relationship. And sometimes they’ll be like, hey, actually, you know who else you should meet? Or they’ll ask you to reciprocate. Hey, is there anybody you know that I should know? It’s just, you’re building relationships. You’re building your network. The network is weaved together. It is connected. It is a net that is working. You’re not just going out and having one-offs. Will you buy something from me? Hey, will you buy something from me? That’s not networking. That’s obnoxious. Don’t be obnoxious. Be a networker.

And then when you get home from the meeting, you type up an email. Thanks for having coffee with me. Thanks for making the introduction. I can’t wait to meet with them. By the way, I got to thinking about what you said, that you were trying to solve x, y, z. Here is something you can try. Here is something I’ve had success with another client doing. Try this, do this. Here’s a free thing. Here’s a reason. You’re going to have value. Hey, you shared a problem that my business happens to solve. You shared a problem you’re having. Here’s a Band-Aid for it. Here’s a Band-Aid. I hope, if you would like any more specific help with it, let me know. This is just natural. I’m adding value to them. I’m helping them solve a problem first. I’m sending the tennis ball back to them. Now it’s up to them to send it back to me. And if they don’t send it back right away, that’s okay. I’m going to follow up after I have coffee with whoever they introduce me to.

And then, oh, here we go. The third and final thing I have, back to the coffee meeting. Okay, we’re back at the coffee meeting. This is something you always want to get into. I do the relationship building, then I get into my three things. A challenge to be solved later. Who do you know that I should know? And then the third is an affirmation. Do you notice they all started with the letter A? A challenge to be solved. An introduction. And then the final one, an affirmation. Sorry, I just had to point that out. I can’t help it.

But an affirmation that you can add them to your list. That’s right. At the very end you’re going to say, hey, listen, I’ve had a great time. I’m really looking forward to meeting with so and so. This was solid. I wanted to know, I send a monthly email newsletter on marketing. Now, this is what I would say, because again, I was a marketer. Hey, at the time, because I was a solopreneur myself, it’s the best I could do, I sent a monthly one. Now I have a team, we send a weekly one. So if I was doing this now, I’d say, hey, listen, we send a weekly email newsletter every Thursday that has a business growth tip in it through marketing, it has a shoestring marketing idea, and it has a complimentary social media graphic. We really work hard to add a lot of value in this weekly newsletter. Can I add you to my email newsletter list? I would love to see you get that every week on Thursdays.

99% of the time they say yes. Now, you’re going to get a lot of email. You’re going to get people to say no. And that’s okay. It’s no big deal. And I know that hurt your feelings. Seriously, if you ask somebody if you can add them to your email list and they say no, and it hurt your feelings, sell your business and go get a job for somebody. You don’t have what it takes to cut it in this world. It’s a no. A no can’t hurt you. So just, oh, no worries. I just wanted to offer. No big deal. And you know why you can say that? Because it is no big deal.

But here, these are the things. When you do this right, this is not every meeting goes this way. Not everybody’s going to have somebody they want to introduce you to. Sometimes you’re going to get there, well, let me think about it and get back to you. When they say that, there’s a very good chance it means you came across too salesy. That’s a good indication. Okay, I’ve got to work on that. Now you want to debrief when they leave. Replay it back in your head. Be ruthless with this. What did I do? Where did I talk too much? And you’re going to do it, because the first time, it’s not going to be great. But you can get better and better at this.

You should set a goal to have 15 one on one coffee meetings a week. And if you can’t do that, do five. Do one for two weeks. I don’t care. I don’t really care what your goal is. Come up with a goal and set it, and then work towards it. I used to, when I would go to events, I would wear a shirt with a pocket in it, and I would put a couple of business cards in it, three or five depending on what my week was like the following week, and my goal, I’d play a little game with myself to see if I could get rid of all of those business cards at a networking event with an appointment written on them for the following week.

Because I would just know, hey, we met at a networking event. How you doing? Nice to meet you. And even if it was somebody that wasn’t my, that I don’t build websites for realtors, but I would go meet with realtors. You know why? Because I had a referral partner, and until we retired the referral partner, great guy who I met at a networking event and went and had coffee. There was no way I was ever going to build a website for this guy, because I don’t build websites for realtors. And we went and we had coffee, and it turned out he was a commercial realtor. And we got to talk, and he said, you know how many times I meet with people that are looking to start a business and they have no real plan or strategy for marketing? And we talked about it for a little bit, and he said, what would you do with someone that was just starting out? And I said, oh, I’d keep it simple. And I explained, I would go into a phased approach, stuff like that. And he said, hey, that’s great. I’d like to introduce you every single time I’ve got somebody that is looking to put in a business. I’d like to be able to say, hey, work with me for your real estate space, because I’ve got a guy that can really help you get the most out of it. He’s a local that’s an expert at marketing to locals.

And that became an amazing referral source. Had I gone to that coffee with, can I build you a website? Or if I had been at the networking event and thought, well, I don’t want to build websites for him. You can’t look at people as projects. You can’t look at people as somebody to sell something to. The best way to look at people and see them is to see them as people. Do you like being sold to? Probably not. So don’t try to sell to others. It’ll be weird. It’s going to be weird.

Go to a networking event, talk to people, and just say, hey, listen, I am constantly trying to learn as a business owner. Can I buy you a cup of coffee next week? One morning, can we meet up? I’d love to pick your brain a little bit on business. I’m just always trying to learn, and I think you’re somebody I could learn a lot from. That was my typical thing. And I meant it. It wasn’t a gimmick. I wanted to learn. And I would go, and I would start with it. So how did you get started? Did you think you were always going to do this? Why do this? Why do it here? What’s been the biggest challenge you’ve ever had to overcome? How did you overcome that in business? Wow, that’s great. I can imagine. I can see how that’s going to be useful. I’m going to remember that. What’s something you’re trying to solve right now? What’s your biggest challenge right now as it relates to your marketing and your business? What do you think solving that would do? What have you tried? Are you trying something now? Hey, is there somebody you know that I should know? Is there somebody that you’re like, you should talk to so and so, you’d learn a lot from them? And, you know, if you ever know of anybody looking for a website, I’d love the introduction to them. That would be great. And then finally, hey, listen, before we leave, this has been great. I send a weekly email. It’s got this in it every week. I think it would really be beneficial for you. It would mean the world to me if I could add you to that list. When I get home, I’ll add you to that list so you get my newsletter, and if you don’t like it, you can unsubscribe at any time.

There’s the outline of my conversation, and I would have it over and over and over again. I’m telling you right now, over and over and over again, the doors got opened. And so many times it wasn’t just from the person I was having coffee with. They would, a couple weeks later, or a lot of times at the very next networking event, connect me. Hey, listen, they were just telling me, this is Joe, he’s got the CrossFit, he was just telling me he needs a new website. Joe, this is the guy I met with last week. He’s a web designer, really great guy. You two should talk. I got all of my initial website projects and gigs this way. All of them. Built my business this way.

And when I hit the road as a digital nomad, I thought this was impossible. I can’t build my business this way any longer. And that was faulty thinking. That was a mistake on my end. And I went around trying all the other things. And recently I realized I’ve got to get back to what I love. And so that’s why I decided to go back to my roots, figure out how to do this networking thing as a digital nomad. And I’m going to be sharing that with you very specifically here in a couple of episodes.

Now, before I give a quick travel update, I do want to give you this week’s leadership tip of the week. If you are a first time listener, every single episode I share a leadership tip of the week. And the reason I do that is because your leadership capacity is the capacity of your business. And so if I can help you improve your leadership, I will definitely be able to help you improve your business.

Now, before I give this week’s leadership tip of the week, I would love it if you would leave a review, if you would subscribe, if you would share, if you would do all the nice things.

Now, for this week’s leadership tip of the week. Replace yourself. That’s right. You always want to think about how you can replace yourself. And the best way to do that is document what you do. So when you are able to give that task to somebody else, then you already have the things you need to give over the job. I want my team to constantly be looking for ways to replace themselves, to make their job easier, to outsource it to someone. Because I’m not going to fire them. I want them to grow. And I always tell them, hey, when you can, I would like to see you get to this, but we can’t go over here. And just because you have the ability to replace yourself doesn’t mean I’m going to. It just means you’ve helped yourself secure a J-O-B for as long as you want it. Because I am confident that you have cared about the business. You’ve cared enough to make sure that if you get hit by a bus, or you win the lottery, why does it always got to be negative, let’s make this one positive, let’s say you win the lottery next week and you come in and say, I just won the lottery last night, I quit. Well, you’ve documented your job. You can hand it off. And so one of the things that we’re constantly talking about with my team, and that I’m constantly trying to do for me, is to replace myself.

All right, finally, a quick travel update. It has been a couple of weeks since I’ve posted an episode, because we’ve been traveling for a couple of weeks around Costa Rica. My parents actually came down from the United States and we rented a car and drove around Costa Rica and visited Monteverde and the Nicoya Peninsula. We went to the cloud forest. And it was really cool for my family and I to see my mom and dad see monkeys for the first time, and see all these other things that we’ve gotten accustomed to seeing, the macaws and toucans and just all this stuff. It was really, really fun. We had a great guide in the preserve at Monteverde. And so if you’re ever in Costa Rica, you’ve got to hit up Monteverde. You’ve got the cloud forest, you’ve got to go up to the reserve, book a guide in it. It was so great. Way to go with it, don’t book a guide ahead of time. There’s always guides standing there that are going to come up and tell you that they just had a group cancel and they’ll offer you a special deal. That’s a little travel tip right there for you.

And let’s see. So after Monteverde, we drove over to the Nicoya Peninsula and went down to the bottom of the peninsula there. First time my parents had been to the Pacific Ocean. So that was cool, to go and step into the Pacific Ocean waters with them. And then one evening we went on a boat tour and went swimming in the phosphorescent water. Well, the water’s not phosphorescent, but in the Nicoya Peninsula there’s this bay, it’s the cove of whales, and at night when it’s dark, because they’ve not been encroached by light pollution, when you swim in the water, as you move your body through the water, your hands and your feet, your legs, all of these phosphorescent algae ignite and the water begins to glow and sparkle around you. It’s absolutely stunning. We had a great time. We had never done anything like that. My parents had never done anything like that. So the eight of us had an amazing time. It was so cool to watch my kids do that with their grandparents.

And then we came back here to our place in San Francisco de Dos Ríos, in San José. And then on Saturday night, at our kids’ youth group, the last two of our four kids had chosen to be baptized. And so we had a baptism celebration and all of their friends yelled and screamed and cheered, and my parents were there, and it was cool. And I got to, as their dad, I got to baptize them, which is a great honor, one of the greatest honors I’ve ever had in my life so far, to be able to have baptized my four kids and my wife. So we’ve had a great time. Wonderful way to wrap up Costa Rica. That’s why I haven’t been able to record, because I’ve been doing that, and that’s okay. I just took a break from that.

But we are heading out to Argentina. We’re so excited. Going to be doing some fast traveling in Argentina. So we’re going to be moving a lot over the next couple of months. I’ll keep you posted on that. We’re learning all kinds of cool things about the money exchanging in Buenos Aires. They have the exchange rate, you get the blue rate, the red rate, all this kind of crazy stuff. So really looking forward to getting down to Buenos Aires. And I’ll be honest, between you and me, I’m really looking forward to the steak. I’ve heard they had good steak, so I’m really coming for that, as is my whole family. We’re a tribe of carnivores and we’re looking forward to it.

So there you go. That’s the quick travel update. Well, with that, my friend, thank you so much for listening to the podcast. I look forward to reading your review or an upcoming email really soon. I have a couple new reviews on the podcast. We’re already at 35 minutes, so I’ll share from one of those in an upcoming episode. Plus, I think I just heard my landlord get here, so I’ve got to wrap up, because she’s about to unplug the router. So until next time, my friend, chase the big dream, lead with courage, and safe travels.

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