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I’ve made a major decision.

I will never, from this day forward, work on my marriage.

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Courtesy of afrociaal

I will however work diligently on my relationship with my wife.

And so should you.

Well…not with my wife, but with yours.

Unless you are the wife.  In that case you should work on the relationship with your husband.

But all of us should stop working on our marriages.  We’ve already got the “marriage license” and had the wedding day to become a married couple.  There isn’t anywhere for that title to go forward from there.  We can’t be MORE married then we are the moment we become Husband and Wife.

But our relationship with our spouse…that changes all the time.  And that is something that needs focus.

Same with our kids.  Your kids can’t be become MORE your kids anymore then you can become MORE their parent.  But, your relationship is going to go somewhere.  Where your relationships go is determined in large part by the quality of the time you spend together. Tweet That

In the workplace this idea of relationship focus is also important.  While someone is working for you, you can’t become MORE their leader.  Once you become the leader…you are the leader.

Now, don’t go and get all…”well they could get fired.”

Yes, true.

But, while you are the leader you can’t become MORE a leader.


We can become better spouses, parents and workplace leaders.

Not by focusing on the marriage, being a parent or by being the leader.

By focusing on the relationships.

Lead your family and team with relationship focus and you’ll go further faster.

If you focus on the titles of who you are, in time you’ll wonder were everyone went.

Relationships can’t be maintained because people are always changing.  Relationships need intentional focus.

Here are some action steps and tips to be more intentional with your relationships.

  • Remember More Is Caught Than Is Taught
  • Learn what you and they want and need from the relationship.
  • Discover your families Love Language and your team’s Appreciation Language
  • Be intentional to calendar time together.  It’s so easy for me to look back on a month and realize I didn’t spend any quality time with my wife.  Sure, we spent time together every day….but none of it may have been intentionally focused on relationship building.
  • When it comes to your kids.  Find things to do that are inline with their interest.  If you love to fish, but they don’t…taking them fishing is more torture than quality time together.
  • Don’t let time and travel for work get in the way.  Stay Connected When Work Takes You Away.
  • ??  What actions steps and tips do you have?


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