Maybe you are like me and hate surprises.
Maybe you are like my wife and love them.
To those of you who love surprises, you’re weird. But that’s just my opinion and we can still be friends.
To the rest of you who are like me and hate surprises. You rock.
Unfortunately however, I married a woman who likes to plan surprises. And, my wife’s happiness is more important to me than my comfort. So, for our anniversary…I gave her the gift of planning a surprise for us.
Marriage is not 50/50. It’s 100/100. When Reverend Gary Jones announced Marissa and I as “…now one…” he didn’t add “…you are now one, as long as it’s an area Eric is comfortable with…”. He said we are one.
Husbands, we are to give 100% to our wives. We are to fully submit ourselves. Their dreams become our dreams. But, our dreams become their dreams. It’s actually pretty cool.
So, with Marissa’s happiness being more important than my comfort. I submitted my aversion to surprises to her desire to plan something special for our anniversary. And, I’m so glad I did. She was so happy.
Now, since we are totally submissive to each other…when she asked to plan a surprise; if I would have said no, she would have honored that. But, I love my wife. So, I said yes.
TIPS AND SUGGESTIONS:
- Know your true motives. Ask yourself before you say no to a request from your spouse; “In the big picture, does this really matter? Am I just being selfish?”
- Show Trust. Put yourself outside of your comfort zone every so often to show your spouse you trust them. Marissa know’s my biggest objection to surprises is being surprised in front of people. So, she planned a surprise that was just the two of us.
- Don’t be dramatic. Once you say yes to something that makes you uncomfortable, don’t keep bringing up your discomfort. Keep your mouth shut and pray that God will take that discomfort.
- Agree on limits. It’s okay to have limits. For example, we’ve decided to alternate years in regards to planning our anniversary. So, I only have to be surprised every other year. That’s not to bad. I can always make arrangements to be on a business trip every other year…
ACTION YOU CAN TAKE RIGHT NOW:
- If your spouse has been asking you to do something out of your comfort zone, tell them right now that you have decided to say yes. Tell them, “Yes, I’ll go to your parents for Christmas.” “Yes, we can have a Superbowl Party.” “Yes, I would love to go shopping all day Saturday,”
- Pray about your spouse’s happiness and ask God what you can do to increase their happiness.
SO WHAT WAS THE SURPRISE YOU ASK?
- First, Marissa asked me if it was okay to surprise me.
- Then, she asked me not to come home for lunch like I normally do. She said, “the anticipation for our date will be fun….”
- Driving up the drive I see our tent set up in the back yard and laughed the entire way into the house. My beautiful wife had set-up a romantic dinner of fondu for just the two of us. She had already taken the kids to the babysitters. I was totally and completely surprised. Unfortunitly, the bar has been raised…I’m already planning Wedding Anniversary 5.0.
Here are some more pictures of the hard work my wife put into our special evening. Isn’t she amazing?
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JOIN THE CONVERSATION:
- In the comments, please let me know…. What’s the last surprise you planned for someone? What something you need to finally say yes to?