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10 Things I’ve Never Told My Wife (Updated)

Me and My WifeUpdated 12/18/2015.  I first wrote this in 2013, today I update the numbers but not the content.

I want to focus my mind and heart today.

I want to focus them on my wife.

In fact, I like to think about her every day.

But today, today is special.

  • Not because of any specific date on the calendar.
  • Not because it’s an anniversary of anything.
  • Not because society says it’s special.

Today is special like yesterday, because today…I’m married to my best friend.

I want to think about and write down some things I love about her…things I’ve never told her.

  • I like to say silly things to make her raise her eyes to the sky and smile just so…I love her smile.
  • I love the way she rushes out of bed at the first sound of one of our kids. She’s been doing this for 5 years. She wants me to sleep so I can wake up at 5 AM and chase our dreams. I love that she sacrifices her sleep for our family.
  • I love watching her talk to others about our kids and parenting. She doesn’t know this, but she can’t do it without smiling. Have I mentioned that I love her smile?
  • I love when she puts her feet on my lap while we are watching TV and asks me to rub them.
  • I love how she talks about Jesus to our kids.
  • I love when she whispers at night just as we climb into bed, “Will you pray?”
  • I love how she sits at the kitchen table with her Bible and journal and studies God’s words.
  • I love how she experiments with recipes and tries new things for us to eat.
  • I love that her dreams are bigger than mine. I love that we chase them together.
  • I love how she cares and talks about our friends everyday.

 

Marissa, I love you.

 

Action Steps

  1. Start a list like I did above of things you love about your spouse.  Next time you are angry with them; get the list out and start reading through all the reasons you love them.  You’ll be amazed at how this will help you.
  2. Brag about your spouse today to someone.
  3. Leave a new note everyday in the same place telling your spouse one thing you love about them or the two of you together.
  4. Plan a “tell all” date. Take your spouse out on a date and tell him/her all the things you haven’t yet.
  5. Write a letter, email, note, text message, blog post, Facebook post, Tweet…whatever…but just write something right now to your spouse. SERIOUSLY, STOP READING AND WRITE SOMETHING RIGHT NOW. Come on, write just one sentence. WHY ARE YOU STILL READING?
  6. Call your spouse right now and tell them you love them.

 

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Help Your Kids Build Character That Measures Up

“Come on boys, get cleaned up. I’m taking you for ice cream.”Helping With Character Development in Kids

My brother and I looked at each other in total disbelief. We ran down to the house faster than we ever had before. “Really? Why?” we asked our dad.

“Your mom just told me that the two of you have behaved all day. I’m proud of you.”

I don’t remember what I ordered, or what we even talked about while eating our ice cream. I don’t remember what clothes we had on or what vehicle we went in. I do remember vividly my dad saying, “I’m proud of you.” And, I remember the reason for the reward.

Parenting is a balancing act. And, it’s a tough job.

Let’s say you walk into the living room after hearing a large crash. You discover your two kids standing there unhurt with a broken lamp on the floor beside them. “What happened?” you ask. Now, your kids have a choice; lie or tell the truth.

“An alien came through the window and smashed the lamp.” or
“We knocked it over and it broke.”

Let’s say your kids tell the truth about knocking it over. So you ask, “How did it get knocked over?”

“We were tossing the ball back and forth.” they reply.

“You know you’re not suppose to be doing that, go to your room.”

Now, let’s fast forward a week. You discover your kids have done something else they knew they shouldn’t have. You ask…”what happened?” At some point, your kids are going to lie to you. Why? They don’t want to get in trouble. That’s just human nature.

But, let’s go back a week to the broken lamp. What if your reply had been something like this.

“How many times have I told you you aren’t suppose to be playing ball in the house? You are going to be punished for this. But, I also want you to know I’m proud of you for telling the truth. Telling the truth is what’s most important here. It doesn’t get you off the hock, but it does help it so your punishment won’t be as bad.”

Now, kids being kids and all…the next time they may still lie. But, they have a much greater chance of telling the truth. Especially if you repeatedly point out the times they tell the truth. After all, what gets repeated gets remembered. And, what get’s reward gets repeated.

But parenting is tough, it’s hard to always remember to highlight the positive. Especially when you are tired or upset that your kids did something they knew they shouldn’t have. What if you had a visual reminder…for you and for them.

What’s hanging on your walls or fridge right now? Are they things you are proud of? Probably. What about your kids artwork, trophies or awards? I want to introduce you to a new tool to display your kid’s positive character decisions.

The Character Growth Chart.SONY DSC

Let’s return to the above broken lamp example for just a moment.

“How many times have I told you you aren’t suppose to be playing ball in the house? You are going to be punished for this. But, I also want you to know I’m proud of you for telling the truth. Telling the truth is what’s most important here. It doesn’t get you off the hock, but does help it so your punishment won’t be as bad. In fact, come here a second.” You and your kids go to the Character Growth Chart. You have them stand with their back against it, mark their height and write something like this…. “Rilee told the truth when she broke a lamp.”

WOW, what a powerful moment this could be for your kids. You can’t…and probably shouldn’t….give ice cream every time thy tell the truth. You probable won’t use the Character Growth Chart every time they display a character trait you want to reinforce. But the times you do use it, will be a big moment for your kids. Plus, when people come over to your place and see the accomplishments displayed, you and they can brag on your kids a bit. Another reinforcement of a positive choice.Character Growth Chart, Helping Parents Teach Character To Their Children

Why is this important for your family?  You are trying to instill character over anything else in your kids. After all, your kids character will determine the decisions they make when you aren’t with them. (tweet that)

If you want this powerful tool to use with your kids or grandkids, you can order one of the handmade Character Growth Charts for only $65 (includes shipping and tax). $65 for a tool to impact the lives of your kids forever.  Click Here for our secure order form, or ask questions in the comments.

LET’S TALK:

  • What do you think about the idea of a Character Growth Chart?
  • What do you do to help build your kid’s character?

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10 Ideas For Husbands To Keep Your Marriage Strong and Growing

If you are a Husband and you want a better marriage, you’ll need to tell your wife this one thing everyday, and it’s not “I Love You.”

While those three words are important, they’re not the only words she needs (or even wants) to hear.

She needs to know you would choose her again.

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

She needs to hear this and “I Love You” everyday in a variety of ways.

After all, if your boss were to say the phrase “nice job” every single day for every single thing you do…you’ll start to wonder if they are being genuine or just saying what a boss should say.

Let’s be honest for a moment — not saying I’m lying anywhere else, it’s just a saying — anyway, let’s be honest. If you are a husband and a workplace leader you probably study how to communicate better to your team.

You’ll study and use things like, DISC personalities and Five Languages of Appreciation In The Workplace, But, as soon as someone talks about studying ways to better communicate to your wife, your mind immediately thinks something like…”crap, I know this is going to end up with me watching the Notebook.”

Put your chick-flick fears to rest. I’m not going to recommend you do that…not yet.

Here’s the deal guys. Your wife needs to know that if you two weren’t together, you’d still chase her like you did when you were dating. She needs to know you would choose her again and again and again.  She needs you to be chasing her.

THE IDEA:

Tell Her Everyday, “I’d choose you again.”

TIPS AND SUGGESTIONS:

  1. Reach out and hold her hand in public, open doors for her, eat at her favorite restaurant…you know…like when you were dating.
  2. Use International Star Registry and name a star after the two of you, tell her “Babe, you and I are written in the stars forever.”
  3. Learn her Love Language and speak it every day. (Get the book)
  4. NEVER leave the house without kissing her…even if you are going out to mow the lawn.
  5. Text her randomly throughout the day that you love her.
  6. Just tell her, “I’d choose you again.”.
  7. Leave her notes.
  8. Write her a letter for your next anniversary. Seal it, hang it on the fridge and tell her she can open on that day. In the letter, tell her how you feel. (This could lead to watching a chick-flick on your anniversary. but once a year won’t kill you.)
  9. If she is a stay at home mom, admit she works harder then you and support her anyway you can.
  10. Remember, inside…your wife is a precious girl who wants and needs to hear everyday she is beautiful.
  11. ?What other Tips and Suggestions Do You Have?

WHAT YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW:

  • Buy a star.
  • Plan a time for your next date and put it on your calendar.
  • Tell her right now, “I was thinking, and I’d choose you again.”
  • Write that letter for the fridge.

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 WHAT DO YOU THINK?:

  • Husbands, what other ideas do you have?
  • Wives, I’d love to hear your thoughts…do you agree or disagree with me?  What would you add to the list?

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