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The Biggest Mistake Leaders Make In Delegation (Learn To Delegate Like A Pro)

I recently took my team to Leadercast 2014.  During our lunch break I was asking everyone on our team what their greatest takeaway from the morning was.  Our 20 year old program director, Meredith, floored me with her response.  I realized that I had learned the same lesson after years of struggling with delegation.  However, she picked up on it and put words to my greatest challenge with delegation in a few hours.  I learned a lot at Leadercast, but I didn’t expect this lesson on how to delegate tasks.

How to delegate to my team.

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles /

Back to my conversation with Meredith.


Me to Meredith; “What’s your greatest takeaway so far?

Meredith; “I’m good at delegating tasks.  I’m terrible at delegating decisions.

And there it was my friend.  I realized I had mastered task delegations years ago.  In fact, pretty quick into my leadership journey I had delegating tasks down.

  1. Identity the next action step required.
  2. Decide the best equipped person to handle the action step.
  3. Assign it to them.
  4. Record the assignment in whatever task management system I was using at the time.  (I’m now 100% on Nozbe and loving it thanks to Jackie Bledsoe Jr.).
  5. Followup with the person when the action step requires it depending on difficulty, due date, etc.

Pretty simple.


But, I never felt like I was getting ahead.


How about you?  Do you feel more or less free to dream about the vision of your organization and how to reach it as you delegate more and more?  I for one was always confused.  Why was I still so swamped when I had everything delegated out?


Enter Dave Ramsey book Entreleadership.


From Mr. Ramsey, I learned and use the 3 suggestions rule.  (Actually, I only require 2.)  The rule is this.  When you bring me a problem, come with 3 (or 2) suggestion on how to fix it.  After I’m presented the problem and the suggested solutions I decide on a course of action.  I make sure the person knows why or why I’m not using one of their suggestions.  Over time, I learn how my team thinks and they learn how to think like me when solving problems.  After a few rounds of this, I can eventually say; “You no longer need to bring problems like this to me.  I trust you to decide.”

Overall, this has been working great.  And Meredith helped me see what I was actually doing in this process.  I was delegating decisions.

When I would simply delegate task in the past without delegating the authority to make decisions….I was setting my team up to have to come back to me with questions.  However, once I started passing on the responsibility to make decisions I started noticing more time in my day to focus on the things that only I can do.

With Dave Ramesy’s approach I am teaching my team how to make decisions.  Thus, delegating decisions making when the team member is ready.  Now that Meredith has helped me connect the dots, I’m going to be able to be even more intentional.


What I Have To Stop Doing.


I also had another light bulb moment.  And, that lead to me apologizing to my team.  Recently I would reply like this when asked about something I didn’t need to be involved in.  “You decide, I don’t care.”

What I thought I was saying was this; “You can decide this.  I trust you.  I don’t need to care about this, because you have it covered.”

What I now realize I was covertly communicating.  “You decide.  I don’t care about small things like this.  It’s such a small decision, it’s beneath me.  You are only capable of handling this kind of small thing and I don’t care.  Only bother me with the big important stuff.”

Not what I thought, felt nor meant.  But the words we use matter.

Now, I will simply reply;  “Thanks for asking.  However, I trust you.  I’d like for you to decide.  I’ll support you whatever you decide.”  And, after saying this a few times, I’ll just cut it down to; “You can decide this.  I trust you.”

What About You?  Do you delegate decisions as well as you delegate tasks?


What Do You Know?


I would appreciate any insight you can share on delegation in the comments or by sending me an email.



For A Better Marriage Don’t Believe The 50/50 Myth

I don’t know about you, but I hear a lot of people say that Marriage is 50/50, each person has to give and take and it’s all about compromise.

Image courtesy of tungphoto at

Image courtesy of tungphoto at

The problem is, I hear this from people with failed marriages. From a generation getting marriage wrong.

Marriage isn’t 50/50.

Marriage is:

  • Complete submission.
  • Hard work.
  • Something you do, not a label of what you are.

Recently I heard, “Marriage is 90/10”. WOW, this isn’t right either. I mean, why hold back anything. We are called in scripture to fully submit to one another. The Bible says we become One Flesh. Therefore, I say to you that marriage is 100/100.

There shouldn’t be any give and take in marriage.  There should be give and receive.  (Please, click here to tweet that)

When I got married to my beautiful wife, Marissa. I gave 100% of myself to her and our relationship. And she did the same to me and to us. Do I have dreams of my own? Sure, when they include her.


Is Your Spouse Worth Any Sacrifice?


  • Each spouse needs permission to say, “I think you NEED or SHOULD be here or there.” when it comes down to deciding between a work function and a family function.
  • If you work for a company that won’t put your family first, find a new career…or make one for yourself.
  • Pray for your spouse’s wants as much or more than you pray for your own.
  • Study and date your spouse.
  • Keep a time budget for one week. Record the time you spend focused on work, spouse, kids, family, friends, and yourself. How does your spouse measure up? Are you really sacrificing for them?
  • With your spouse, create a weekly/daily time budget. How much time does everything in your life get.


  • Ask your spouse how you are doing.
  • Read the book Choosing to Cheat by Andy Stanley.
  • Schedule a time to work on a time budget with your spouse.




Questions: How do you keep your marriage 100/100?  What’ fraction do you give your marriage?

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22 Parenting Goals To Raise Great Kids

Do you want your kids to behave?

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles at

Me to. We all want our kids to behave.

Do you know this isn’t a goal however?  In fact, having “kids that behave” as a goal will only lead to great frustration that will lead to anger.

Anger is the result of a blocked goal.  Goals that rely on others are desires.

We have lots to desire for our kids, we desire for them to behave, choose good friends, want a relationship with Jesus, and so on.  But, since we can’t make our kids choose these things…they are desires not goals.

So, we have to set goals that help us achieve our desires.

With mindset shift, you will see a significant decrease in your anger, because your goals will be properly placed.  Below our suggested starting points for goals you can use or alter for your goals.

These goals all: 

  • rely only on you to achieve them,
  • rely on the truth that more is caught than is taught, and
  • will help you parent your kids into positive decision making machines….one day.


Desire: Kids have great marriages:


  • Treat your spouse every day with love and respect.
  • Tell your spouse daily you love them and one reason why…in front of the kids.
  • Talk positively about your spouse in front of your kids when your spouse isn’t around.
  • Be intentional about your marriage…more than you were about the wedding.

Desire: Kids have a good work ethic:


  • Talk about the benefits of work.  Such as having a sense of purpose, money to live on, give, save and have fun with.
  • Don’t gossip about your boss or others at work.
  • If you don’t like your job, change it.  Live your dream responsibly   Your kids will do the same one day.

Desire: Have good friends:


  • Hang out once a week with good family friends.
  • Don’t gossip about your friends.
  • Talk about the impact your friends are having on your life.

Desire: Have a relationship with Jesus Christ.


  • Go to a Bible-teaching healthy church.
  • Don’t complain about the pastor or people at church.
  • Don’t just do church on Sunday…live a love relationship with Jesus Christ every day.
  • Read the Bible and pray as a family.
  • Don’t punish your kids with church, youth group, reading the Bible, etc.
  • Don’t tell your kids that “going to youth will help/fix you”.  Jesus does that, not youth group.

Desire: Raise generous kids.


  • Do mission work with your kids.
  • Tithe. And pray about your tithe with your children.
  • Let your kids choose what they want to give a portion of their money to.  It doesn’t have to be Sunday School…in fact, it probably shouldn’t be.

Desire: Kids that choose clean entertainment.


  • Don’t watch a TV show or movie you wouldn’t let your kids watch.  This just shows your kids that one day they can stop worrying about protecting their minds and hearts from being corrupted by unhealthy things.

Desire: Kids that have character and tell the truth.


  • Never ask your kids to tell little white lies for you. For example, when the phone rings don’t say….”If it’s for me, I’m not home.”
  • Don’t lie.
  • Check out the Character Growth Chart, it’s designed to help develop character in our kids that measures up.


  • In your Bible, in a journal, in Evernote, anywhere really….start a list of desires that you have for your kids future.  Then, you can start figuring out goals to set to give these desires the best chance they can have.
  • Don’t have time right now to do this.  Email me when you’d like to be reminded to work on it.  I’ll email you a reminder and follow up with you to see how it’s going.




Tips To Make Date Night Happen For Married Couples

Most married couples say that having a regular date night is imperative to health of their relationship. Most married couples admit they don’t do a great job at having a regular date night. They have all the intentions and desires to have date night, but life happens fast…put two lives together as one; and life accelerates.

Image courtesy of photostock at

Image courtesy of photostock at

Date night is a habit. You’ll either have the habit to date, or not to date. I’m going to assume that you agree date night is important, and not spend time convincing you of this. Instead, this post….in fact one of the primary purposes of this blog….is to inspire meaningful marriages.

So let’s look at some ideas to make date night easier.


Date Night, Make It Happen..Or It Won’t.  


  • Calendar calendar calendar. You and your spouse must get your date night on the calendar. Especially if you have kids and need to arrange childcare.
  • Be spontaneous by planning the spontaneity out of it. The exact way this looks will vary from couple to couple. Your ideal date night could be a restaurant and movie. A night around the house. An activity like miniature golf or bowling. So, here is a framework that can be altered for your date night:
    • On individual pieces of paper write down restaurants you enjoy or want to try for the first time and put these in a container.
    • In another container add individual slips of paper with activities. You can add other containers as you want.
    • On or before date night draw one thing from each container. Agree to do whatever the slips of paper say and randomly draw from each to discover your date night plans. One person suggested listing your favorite TV and movie characters on individual slips of paper. Whichever you draw you have to act like that character when you interact with others out on the town. Or go high tech with the next tip….
  • There’s an app for that. There are several apps that do the similar thing as the above tip. Do a quick search in the app store and you’ll discover all kinds of apps designed to help spark ideas and romance.
  • Develop unique holidays. Pick a random day on the calendar or a specific anniversary of something special and/or quirky. Write up an official declaration, sign it, frame it and hang it on the wall. Then celebrate it every year. Here are seven ideas to get your creative juices flowing:
    1. Love Day.
    2. Hike In The Woods Together Day.
    3. Hold Hands For Six Hours Without Letting Go Day.
    4. Volunteer Together Day.
    5. Look At The Stars Night.
    6. Day of Silence.
    7. Never Get Out Of Bed Day.
  • ?What other Tips and Suggestions Do You Have?


  • Write up a contract with your spouse agreeing to date frequency terms.
  • Calendar your next date.
  • Look for an app.
  • Ask an accountability friend outside of your marriage to hold you accountable to do this.
  • Share in the comments an idea you have for date night or an invented holiday.



  • What’s an idea for date night you have? How do you and your spouse ensure date night happens?
  • Add your thoughts to the comments or on my Facebook Page

Free New eWorkbook Available; Write Your Life


Today I announce the release of my eWorkbook; Write Your Life, A Four-Step-Plan To Influence A Better Tomorrow For Those You Lead and Love.


Like many people, I tried to write goals. But truthfully, I just never felt like I was getting what God wanted for me, I didn’t feel like I was getting his dream for me. I would read other’s goals and think, “man, I wish I had wrote that.” Or, “wow, I wish I could think of goals that clear and creative for my life.” I would pray and reflect, but never felt like I was getting my goals just right.

In the introduction of Write Your Life I share the story of how that all changed for me the night before my daughters first birthday.

What I’ve discovered since has helped me get clear on my goals. I’ve discovered that one of the greatest challenges I had in my goals was that they weren’t goals at all. I had a list of desires with a goal here and there. Now, I have clear goals for my marriage, my parenting and my workplace leadership. I’ve never felt so confident that my goals were God inspired.

I created Write Your Life as an eWorkbook It’s more about you experiencing and writing letters then me telling you about writing letters. My prayer is that you find this resource inspiring and you use it to write letters to the people you care about the most. And, that by writing these letters:

  • you leave for them a written account of your hopes and dreams,
  • create a legacy worth living towards, and
  • discover the goals you need to work towards to make your life everything God wants it to be.

This free 70 page PDF workbook has both information and worksheets designed to guide and help you.

Write Your Life is divided into five sections:

* A short introduction in section 1 tells the story of how I discovered the power in writing letters for future dates and events to the people I care for most.
* In section 2 I unpack the process and pitfalls to be mindful of.
* Sections 3 and 4 will guide you through the four steps of reflecting, planning, clarifying and writing process.
* Section 5 includes links and resources.

You will discover what’s really important for you to teach and what to model for those most important in your life.

Write Your Life is for:

* Married Couples,
* Singles,
* Parents,
* Those Hoping to be Parents,
* Grandparents,
* Those Hoping to be Grandparents, and
* Workplace Leaders

This eWorkbook is provided free to those who subscribe to my blog’s email list to receive updates when I publish new content. Subscribers also receive exclusive offers and content not available on the blog.

Have you ever wrote a letter to someone for the future? Received a letter from someone wrote to you long ago? Comment below.  


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