Select Page

Every marriage is one decision away from disaster. And, it’s normally the smallest decision.

Once upon a time, a man has been dieting successfully for several months. He’s lost weight and is doing great. One Saturday afternoon he get’s the urge for a cookie. But he thinks to himself. “I don’t need a cookie, but I do feel like a drive…I just won’t go past any stores that sell cookies.” So, he jumps in his car and start to drive around. Soon he finds himself having the following conversation with himself…

Image courtesy of arztsamui at

Image courtesy of arztsamui at

“I’ll drive downtown, but I won’t drive on the road with the grocery store.”
“I’m going to go ahead and drive down Main Street with the store, but I won’t pull into the parking lot. There’s no need for me to stop driving.”
“I better pull into the parking lot, I think I have a tire going flat. But I won’t go into the store.”
“Well, since I’m here, I’ll pick up some milk and fruit. But, I won’t go down the cookie isle.”
“I can look at cookies, I just won’t buy them. I wonder if they still even make Oreos”
“I’ve been so good lately, I can buy the cookies, but not eat them. It will be a trophy of my manhood and willpower.”
“What’s one cookie going to hurt?”
“I can’t believe I ate all those cookies!”

The decision to eat the cookies isn’t the decision that caused the diet to fail. Even though, it was the final and seemingly “biggest” decision.

The man’s failure in his diet goes back to the apparently innocent decision to entertain the thought of going for a drive.

What does this look like in marriage?

  • If I accept his friend request on Facebook, I don’t have to actually interact with him or read his updates.
  • Just because I ask her out for coffee doesn’t mean I still have feelings for her.
  • Sending an email isn’t an affair. It’s just an email for crying out loud.
  • Traveling to this meeting with them is just work. We’re professionals, nothing will happen.
  • But they are hurting and need a shoulder to cry on, it doesn’t matter I’m a guy and their a girl. I’m just being a good friend.

The best thing for a married couple to do is build and maintain a force field around their marriage that protects them.  A force field is built by decisions we make together on boundaries.  We maintain it by being focused on personal and marital growth.


Build a Marriage Force Field


  • Make a personal relationship with Jesus Christ the number one priority in your life.
  • Intentionally plan time for you and your spouse to work on your relationships with Christ and each other.
  • Make a marriage-centric home. If you have or add kids to your life, it’s one of the greatest gift you can give them.
  • Have accountability friends of the same gender.
  • Refuse to be alone with people of the opposite sex.
  • Don’t reconnect with old flames. If you are connected, end it.
  • Study and date your spouse.
  • Learn and use each other’s Love Language.
  • Be in a great and healthy church.
  • ?What other Tips and Suggestions Do You Have?


  • Schedule that next date night and set boundaries.
  • Bring to light any secrets you have from your spouse…bad things grow in the dark.
  • Ask your spouse if you currently have any relationships that bother them. Then, don’t argue or defend the relationship. Be open and have conversation about it.




  •  How do you and your spouse maintain your force field?
  • What other analogy besides a force field can you think of?
  • Add your thoughts to the comments or on my Facebook Page

Pin It on Pinterest